Episode 19: More Conversation on What It Is Really Like to Live with Dissociative Identity Disorder

An interview with author of two books, the latest being “All Together Now” whose website is dejoly.com, DeJoly Labrier, moderator of Ivory Gardens, a website on DID which is igdid.com- Felicity Lee, and my sister Kathy- who graduated top of her class with both her bachelors of science and master’s degree in Social Work, on what it is like to be a survivor of extreme ritual abuse and how the mind breaks apart through dissociation in order to save us from the extreme trauma that we all experienced as children. Talking candidly about what it is like to not only live with DID, but prosper despite all of the past trauma while offering hope to those individuals- both male and female, who have suffered or are still suffering from the repercussions of our governments involvement with mind control.

It is a brilliant interview with three incredible survivors- relating their experiences of trauma, recovery, and hope in order to reach out to those who may have questions as to exactly what DID is and what it is like to live with such a thing.

The TalkShoe number is 724 444 7444 ext. 123756, or you can listen to the interview from my website- DavidShurter.com as well as past interviews with survivors and survivor advocates.

http://www.talkshoe.com/talkshoe/web/talkCast.jsp?masterId=123756&cmd=tc

On March 24th, 2013- I just completed an interview in which we speak in depth about Dissociative Identity Disorder- once called Multiple Personality Disorder. My guests are my sister Kathy, renowned author DeJoly LaBrier, who wrote “All Together Now”, DID survivor and warrior Felicity Lee, and Judy Byington- who wrote 22 Faces. We discuss in depth what DID is like, how it works, and how to survive with such a diagnosis. This is probably one of the best interviews I have ever had.

You can find the interview on my blog DavidShurter.com, or it is also on Talkshoe.com, under the ID number 123756, and it is episode 18 that this interview took place. It is full of fascinating facts and deals a bit with the complaints of the False Memory Pedophile Protector Squad. Please listen and enjoy as we spend 2 1/2 hours discussing DID and what it has been like dealing with such a diagnosis and prospering regardless.

http://www.talkshoe.com/talkshoe/web/talkCast.jsp?masterId=123756&cmd=tc

This is a 15 minute recording talking about mine and others targeting and what is going on right now in my life. I am being targeted to keep my book and investigation from hitting the general population- and I am just talking about what is happening right now.

Thanks,

David Shurter

DavidShurter.com

*TRIGGER WARNING*

This interview that I did last night is INCREDIBLY graphic, but I decided to answer the ugly questions that always get asked about me concerning my abuse in the past. Again- the Satanic aspect of this is important- but more than that is the fact that our government was still involved with MKUltra when I was a child- and it is the CIA’s involvement in torture and murder that I feel is more important than a bunch of child killing pedophiles. However- this is the link that has the interview. PLEASE LISTEN WITH CAUTION. If you are a survivor- this could be INCREDIBLY triggering, so please listen with care.

Thanks.

http://www.talkshoe.com/talkshoe/web/talkCast.jsp?masterId=123756&cmd=tc

Okay- so this is what has happened in just a short period of time. I get banned on Amazon by a group of people that I call the False Memory Pedophile Protector Squad complaining about me- all lead by a man-boy dabbler and promoter of Satanism who is officially the new False Memory Foundation poster child named Doug Mesner/Misicko. Anonymous people such as Critthink, Karmakazee, Douglas, ac2012, and others who are not so anonymous but are still no more than strangers on the computer have fought- not only me- but EVERY author or survivor who comes forward- and I believe that they are all connected to the website Randi.org- whose owner is a member of the False Memory Foundation Board of Directors. Causing an untold financial loss for not only myself with their smear campaign- but Judy Byington- author of 22 Faces- who has ALSO had a “war” waged on her- they have done what they can to destroy ANYONE who would come forward and talk about satanic ritual abuse.

They have accessed not only Judy and I, but also the survivor named Jenny that 22 Faces is about, as well as her family- causing great stress on situations that are nowhere within the realm of normalcy. Accessing other survivors of abuse like a woman named Felicity Lee, they have gone so far as to expose Felicity’s life as much as possible- publishing pictures of her granddaughter as an implied threat, among MANY other things. These people- under numerous alias- troll and stalk online and in the real world anyone who would come forward with abuse claims- and they do it relentlessly and so well that there MUST be a collective force behind it, esp. considering the tenacity and depth they are willing to go to influence, control, and destroy anyone they deem as a threat of bringing on a 21st Century witch hunt.

Accessing not only my online life- tracking me down on Facebook and succeeding in shutting down, not only my Facebook account, but my marketing team’s as well for a brief period of time, they have also reported me to every agency they can think of to hurt me. This tells me that there is more than this band of trolls involved with this mess, but I have no idea who exactly I am fighting- although the hits seem to be endless. This is esp. true for Judy Byington, who has been decimated by the attacks that this Pedophile Protector Squad has waged, as they have done everything they can to cause financial distress on her as well.

It has been suggested to me by my lawyer to sue Amazon and subpoena the identities of these fake online people in order to hold them responsible for the damage that they have caused not only me- but a number of others who want to join in on the law suit. This anonymous crap must end- and the argument is that THIS is the only way to do it, as we can ask Amazon to release, not only the slanderous conversations that have been had in entirety- but the true identity of those who are guilty of making such statements. Considering that Critthink recently reported that the four women who came forward in the Castlewood case are “suing the pants off” their therapists for implanting thoughts into their heads brought up the question of whether Castlewood would be interested in joining- as there is already a collection of us who have joined forces who have incurred loss due to the slander that Amazon refuses to take down, so therefore supports.

Now, it is true that some of my own personal financial loss has come from my stepmother Joanne C. Shurter and her cousin/lawyer Gerald Freidrickson who both follow me around like dogs trying to interfere and scare anyone who has wanted to help me in town, and I chose not to sue her, but that is because what she owns is blood money- and the energy and karma surrounding that money is so bad that I want none of it. However, going after this group online who trash anyone and everyone who comes forward needs to be dealt with- and I think that a joint lawsuit is the only way to bring this group of cowardly nobodies who feel powerful in their anonymity to a halt. The threats and accessing of survivor’s and their families MUST be brought to an end- and it my intention to show and prove that this group of wanna bes are working in conjunction with Randi.org and the False Memory Foundation.

For those of you who are interested- please contact me at davidshurter1@gmail.com and share your experiences and we will see how many people WE can get to stand as an opposing force to this group of active Pedophile Protectors.

This is who is trying to block everyone on Facebook, in my opinion, and it is this kind of info that Doug Misicko, satanist, doesn’t want out there. However, my website is mine and Ill post what I want. i guess that the False Memory Foundation must of come at him for being a public dumbass. But he got me and several other people, including my marketing team that have NOTHING to do with what I am doing, put on a 24 hour ban on Facebook for telling the truth about him, yet he can go all over the web and verbally trash me. Makes me rethink my position on Facebook

Douglas Mesner and the Lucien Greaves Satanic Temple Connection

Background

At the beginning of the year, a group called “The Satanic Temple” Facebook page was created apparently to promote a movie. A few weeks later, this group convinced much of the US media, including TV networks, they would be supporting Florida Governor Rick Scott and his school prayer bill at a rally on January 25 at the Florida State Capitol.

In the article “Satanists to rally in support of Gov. Rick Scott” at wbpf. com on Jan 14, 2013, it was stated “Neil Bricke, founder of The Satanic Temple, will speak at the rally, Greaves said.” No “Neil Bricke” was reported to have spoken at or to have been at the very small rally.

The Satanic Temple’s website states: In 2012, Neil Bricke, raised in a multigenerational Satanic Temple tradition of worship, decided, with the blessings of his fellow Satanic devotees, to officially found the Satanic Temple.

SMART believes that this was meant to be an attack on Neil Brick, the founder of SMART. Neil Brick works to educate the public about the different types of child abuse and their existence.

Group Exposed

The Miami Herald Naked Politics blog in an article by Michael Van Sickler exposed the group.

“Greaves is listed as the casting director of a feature film called …wait for it…The Satanic Temple. A casting call was posted on the web site Actors Access on Jan. 7 seeking non-union actors for no pay.

“We are seeking people from all walks of life, goths, grandparents, soccer moms, etc to be the followers of a charismatic yet down to earth Satanic cult leader,” the post stated. “The shoot will be on January 25th in downtown Tallahassee. Actors will be required to wear tasteful Satanic garb.” The casting call said the movie was a mockumentary about the “nicest Satanic Cult in the world.” It was seeking actors for eight speaking roles “to play minions” and 10 featured extras….Greaves said he lives in Cambridge, Mass.” (It is believed that Mesner lives in Cambridge, Mass.)

An article at newsbusters.org by Ken Shepherd, “MSNBC’s Bashir Falls for Hoax, Reports Satanists to Rally for Rick Scott; Turns Out It’s Part of Mockumentary” states:

“But alas, the Satanic Temple is not a real, well, Satanic temple. Bashir’s first clue might have been that there’s no physical address or even mailing address listed on TheSatanicTemple.com’s website.”

Rally and Evidence

In the Miami Herald Naked Politics blog article about the rally on January 25, “Satanists* for Rick Scott hold Old Capitol rally” posted by Aaron Sharockman has two videos, one of the group’s approach to the rally of a few people and the second of the rally itself. At the end of the first video, a person appears to be Douglas Mesner. In the second video, Lucien Greaves speaks first. This appears to be Douglas Mesner also.

Doug’s picture appears at the website page “RadioFreeSatan . com Doug Mesner Show” which can be used to verify this. From the web page: “An unscrupulous journalist of the Muckracker/Gonzo School, Doug takes his tape recorder everywhere it’s unwelcome. ”

Further evidence that Doug Mesner is involved with the Satanic Temple movie project came from the press release company which originated what some in the media call a hoax. His e-mail address was directly connected to the press release “Satanic Rally in Support of Florida Governor Rick Scott January 25 to Mark First Public Appearance of Satanic Temple Founder Neil Bricke.”

Additional evidence comes from the voice of “Lucien Greaves” whose voice is very similar to a recording of Doug Mesner’s voice. A witness that has seen Doug Mesner in another setting states that the Lucien Greaves in the video at the rally is Doug Mesner.

Note: Live links have not been included in this article, because SMART does not want to promote this group or their work. Media personnel may write SMART at smartnews (at) aol (dot) com for the actual links and additional information.

Conclusion

SMART believes that Lucien Greaves is Doug Mesner.

For information about the connections between Douglas Mesner and the False Memory Syndrome Foundation (FMSF) see: http://ritualabuse.us/ritualabuse/reply-to-fmsf-newsletter-article-about-our-organization/

Additional Information on Douglas Mesner and SMART

http://ritualabuse.us/ritualabuse/douglas-misicko-alias-douglas-mesner-defamation-case-update-5/

http://ritualabuse.us/ritualabuse/douglas-misicko-alias-douglas-mesner-defamation-case-update-4/
http://ritualabuse.us/ritualabuse/douglas-misicko-alias-douglas-mesner-defamation-case-update-3/
http://ritualabuse.us/ritualabuse/douglas-misicko-alias-douglas-mesner-defamation-case-update-2/
http://ritualabuse.us/ritualabuse/douglas-misicko-alias-douglas-mesner-defamation-case-update/
http://ritualabuse.us/ritualabuse/douglas-misicko-alias-douglas-mesner-defamation-case/
http://ritualabuse.us/ritualabuse/harassment-by-false-memory-proponents/
http://ritualabuse.us/ritualabuse/rebuttal-to-the-report-from-the-smart-2009-conference/

These pages will give readers the full background on this subject as well as a rebuttal to Mesner’s comments about ritual abuse and our conference. These pages list many of the comments posted by Douglas Mesner as well as other aliases. These pages will show connections between Mesner and websites like process, radiofreesatan. com and the book “Might is Right.”

Douglas Mesner has continued using insults and attacks against survivors of ritual abuse and the professionals that work with them. He has harassed and followed survivors and survivor advocates around the Internet for the last several years. Aliases have been used adding additional insults and name calling against survivors.

Data on child abuse and ritual abuse: http://ritualabuse.us/ritualabuse/

I woke up this morning to a message from Facebook that I was in violation of community standards speaking about Critthink, Douglas, Charles Gaston, and all the rest of the false memory pedophile protector squad members who have been bashing me on Amazon without me getting a chance to reply. Since they can’t get my website taken down- they are focusing on every other part of my online life to try and keep me from doing the same to them, and basically are online stalking me. Complaining to Amazon, Facebook- while trashing my book, they are doing whatever they can to keep people from listening to me while trying to vilify me at the same time, which they have done to other survivors like Felicity Lee, and other authors- such as Judy Byington. In fact, they are on top of anyone who writes a book about abuse for the most part, as they have decided that such abuse doesn’t exist.

This group is good at playing victim- but since I know they come to my site and check it out- let me make one thing clear. I have NEVER called this group satanic- except for their leader Doug Mesner/Misicko- who played in a satanic rock band and just got done throwing a satanic rally for Rick Scott down in Tallahassee, Florida, and I never called them pedophiles. No- I believe this group is WORSE actually- in that they do whatever they can in defense of the pedophiles, and I think that those who protect pedophiles are lower and more despicable than the pedophiles themselves. Arbitrarily claiming that most abuse cases are bogus- they don’t bother with the specific facts of the abuse and just make blanket statements to try and discredit the victim who is making the claims, all the while ingratiating themselves into the victims life in order to try and destroy that persons claims. It happened to me- it has happened to others- and this group DOES NOT like to be exposed in the light, so they fight as dirty as they can to try and prevent that from happening- such as reporting to Facebook something I posted a month or so ago.

This group is seriously out to discredit me- esp. since they have written all over Amazon how poorly they found my book Rabbit Hole- A Satanic Ritual Abuse Survivor’s Story to be written and yet I am one of ten, out of thousands of entry’s- who qualified for Best Book of the Year in a prestigious competition. Regardless of anything they do- they can’t take my “finalist” status away from me- and it makes their claims that the book is poorly written look silly, (as well as mean). Doing their best to try and trash me as a person, they follow me from place to place and complain about me- just like they did on Amazon. Organized and working in conjunction with each other- they often go to a FMS website named Randi.org and laugh at they things they have accomplished while getting advice on how to proceed further. I would assume, as well oiled as this machine is- that I am hardly the first- nor will I be the last to find myself in the unfortunate place of having to deal with this band of pedophile protectors.

Why they are doing this is two fold- in that they not only want to discredit me- but they also hope that the attacks will deter others from coming out and telling their stories. Caught up in a campaign of intimidation and fear tactics, they do anything they can to discourage others from coming forward by viciously attacking those of us who have come forward already, and again- I am neither the first nor will I probably be the last. But since they can do nothing about my website- I will simply post on here and use other sites to send people to my blog. As far as I know, I still have my 1st Amendment rights, which includes free speech- and therefore I will expose who I must in order to have this situation dealt with- and if that means I must first deal with the False Memory Pedophile Protector Squad- so be it. Just so they know- they don’t have a prayer in Heaven getting me to stop or getting banned from my own site without a court injunction, and since that won’t happen, I will continue continuing on.

This is one of the posts they complained about…

The Attack Dogs on Amazon Regarding Anything SRA Are Nipping Again

Okay, first was Sybil Exposed by Debbie Nathan that this group noticeably descended onto the internet and more specifically, Amazon. Defending the False Memory crap that most childhood claims of abuse are from repressed memory and therefore discrediting the overburdening number of people, such as myself, who have come forward and spoke about our experiences of being satanically and ritually abused, they viciously attack anyone who would oppose their denial of such experiences- discrediting us in any way possible, while claiming victimization if anyone responds, which is pathological behavior that is hard to debate with.

Lately I have been involved with arguments concerning another survivor story on Amazon entitled 22 Faces, written by Judy Byington- a book I honestly have to admit I haven’t read yet, but it was suggested to me by another SRA survivor that I come in and defend the arguments against satanic ritual abuse, which I obviously know quite a bit about. I have spoken about a man who goes by the name of Doug Mesner, but actually is a guy by the name of Doug Misicko- who has openly attacked and berated me and others on the comments of both books, (S.E. and 22 Faces). Anyway- he has several aliases and for some strange reason, has a psychological compulsion to involve himself with and argue against everything that concerns satanic ritual abuse, mind control, and systematic abuses by our government. Anyway- he wants to do his best to try and equate SRA with the belief in aliens from outer space- as he asserts that there is about as much proof that there are lizard people than an active satanic group in the workings of our society- although now that we are watching the whole Jimmy Savile case play out in the UK- and the systematic denial and protection that the man was offered all throughout his child raping, Satan worshiping life, that whole idea is playing out as bunk. There has been plenty of proof- it is just that society has become adept at looking away. And I simply refuse to talk about aliens and lizard people; because I think it is nothing more than a ruse to keep people from considering the real issues being presented to society at this time.

Anyway- there is also a woman on Amazon who goes by the name of Sheri J. Storm who I have been arguing with who left the following review yesterday on my book Rabbit Hole: A Satanic Ritual Abuse Survivor’s Story, (without bothering to read the book I might add…)

“The largest problem I have with this vanity publication, is that it is not branded as FICTION. A colorful tale of unsubstantiated events, woven around a true case of bank fraud. Misinformation and claims of this magnitude can have ill affect on those exposed to mental health care providers who are looking for satanists around every corner or the recesses of their patient’s minds.

The author, known to pounce on those who question the veracity behind the many incredible claims in this book, has not yet succeeded in producing the investigative or police corroboration he suggested was shortly forthcoming over a year ago.”

Now what you need to understand about S.S. is that she has been trying to extort money out of her therapist now for 20 years, and has an agenda to assert that memories can be “implanted” into your head because she has financial gain to be had from such a belief. Funny, memories can’t be remembered, but they can be implanted, and it is this kind of hypocritical garbage that I have had to deal with in trying to defend myself just to simply GET MY FAMILY’S INVOLVEMENT IN A CHILD TRAFFICKING RING INVESTIGATED.

However, back to the point- S.S. never bothered to read the book and has just decided to attack me personally rather than deal with anything that is in the book- probably because my book offers a perspective that could jeopardize any financial gain to her. I am not the only one that S.S. has attacked, either on Sybil Exposed or on Judy Byington’s book 22 Faces- but since she decided to trash my book without reading it, I have kind of taken it personally and want to point out that this is typical of all of the negative reviews on my book- in that they are an attack on me personally rather than what I specifically said in the book.

However, I would like to be clear about her last argument that I have“not yet succeeded in producing the investigative or police corroboration he suggested was shortly forthcoming over a year ago.” So far, I have found the Nebraska State Patrol to be secretive and gamey- and though I gave Deputy John Pankonin a swab of my DNA, (in fact, several swabs), it supposedly came back negative for the Ricky Chadek case and all matters were quickly dropped. No investigations have been put into my concerns, even though I have been diligently emailing the local Omaha FBI, as well as faxing Mayor Jim Suttle’s office and Douglas County Judge Marlon Polk’s office with details of what I am trying to get investigated. Having jumped through every hoop I can find, I wonder how many others like myself are out there but weren’t as tenacious as I am, who fell through the cracks because no one wants to listen. It isn’t just that society is in denial- but the powers that be are ACTIVELY dismissing any and all such claims and I wonder when people are going to stand up and start holding our leaders accountable. I am trying to get a child abduction and child trafficking ring exposed, and I have no intention of ever stopping until all of this is looked at.

No matter what my detractors on the internet and out in the real world do or say.

I have been called onto the carpet so to speak recently- and have had several of my consul bring many issues to my attention concerning certain things I have said that have been flat out wrong, and I want to take a moment to apologize to the TI community for my rant the other day in which I said that the TI community was crazy. I over generalized, and this is not how I feel about the community as a whole- in fact I stand by what I have said many times before- that many TI’s are some of the most articulate, intelligent, and outspoken members of our society- which is why I think so many of them are being targeted. Harassed with organized stalking, electrical and microwave weapons, and a myriad of other psych ops techniques in order to intimidate and silence individuals, these members of society have been called “pre-revolutionaries” by one of those harassed, and I think it is fitting- as these people have had their eyes opened and are very aware of what is not that far down the pipeline for many average Americans. To give the impression that I discredit the leaders of the community is wrong, and I want to give my sincere apology for lashing out at some of the very people who have given me a platform to speak. My anger was aimed at a few, but in the generalization of my comments, I gave the image that this is how I feel about the TI community as a whole- and it certainly is NOT.

I am tired of being attacked however. An associate I hope to one day call friend told me that I am acting like a victim, and I have had to take a good hard look at myself and realize that is EXACTLY what I have been acting like, and I have to take responsibility for allowing myself to be accessed in such a way. I have put myself out there in such a way that I must learn to allow my dissenters opinions to roll off my back instead of taking them to heart. I must scrape my feelings off my sleeves and stop taking things so personally- as there are always going to be those who don’t appreciate or understand what I am trying to accomplish and nothing I do- other than becoming silent and going away- is going to please this group of people that seem to be all over the internet. However, I need to take this opportunity to say that I in no way, shape, or form have what has been called a “satanic gay agenda”.

I have a rough time correctly articulating myself when I am angry- and lately I have been so frustrated over the False Memory Foundation Pedophile Protector Squad dissing me on Amazon and being unable to respond because I called someone a “Twinkie” , which has been frustrating to say the least, but I allowed my feelings with regards to this situation to spill over into people’s internet calls on Talkshoe and did my part to help bring it to the mess that it became willingly and with complete and utter belligerence to even those who were trying to help, and for that I am truly sorry. My rage is the least attractive part of my personality- and unfortunately I lose control and say things that I don’t mean generally because I am emotionally distraught at the time. I am not one who has a high tolerance for perps, or those who feel justified in attacking me, and I am not one to run from confrontations. The fighting I have been in has been intense, and the attacks have been painful and continuous to the point that I often have little trust of the outside world. I am definitely hypersensitive to events playing out around me- and though I am working under the guise of being some sort of warrior for the truth in trying to expose events that have surrounded me, I must say that it has been hard to stay away from and avoid the distractions by those hell bent on calling me a liar and worse. The attacks have been meant personally- but it is my fault that I have taken them such- and it is also my responsibility to keep this from happening in the future.

Anyway- I didn’t mean to diss a community whose leaders I have a lot of respect for, and I certainly don’t want anyone to be left under the impression that the TI community is anything other than “pre-revolutionaries” who are doing their very best to try and expose and alert to public to what is really happening with our government, it’s citizens, and the drones and devices it is offering up in the name of national security. Yes, there are some who would associate these government projects with demons, lizard people, and other outlandish claims, but these people, although they are part of the community- are not indicative of the community itself, and although it is this group that seems compelled to attack me with claims that I have a “satanic gay agenda”, I just wanted to end with that distinction. It was this group that I was lashing out at- and not the group as a whole, and I am sorry for any pain that I may have caused with my opinions concerning the TI community.

Lately I have been attacked over the Satanism that my family was involved when I was a child, and I just want to take a minute to address some of the concerns that have been leveled at me as a result. Before I do that however, let me first make clear that I believe that the satanic abuse I was forced to endure as a child was totally intertwined with the mind control project MKUltra, and I think that the Satanism, although pervasive, was nothing more than a way to 1. Scare the crap out of people and more importantly 2. To muddle the waters so much that no one would look any further than the superstitious sounding claims of the children being abused. Mixing abuse with religion, very few survivors are Christian as a result- not because we are inherently bad but because scripture and the Bible are an intricate part of our abuse, but there is such a paranoid outlook on the subject that it is hard to get through the misconceptions of the satanic aspect enough to even get a conversation about mind control going.

It is true- I am not a Christian, and at this point, I never will be. It is also true that Rabbit Hole: A Satanic Ritual Abuse Survivor’s Story had a working title called Confessions of an Anti-Christ, as that is what I was mind controlled to believe as a child. As such, I HAD to come to terms with my own personal darkness before I sought God- and I am sick to death of people taking liberty of thinking their uneducated opinions somehow diminish my relationship with my Creator. I have had a lifetime struggle to overcome the rage I felt over my abuse, and the fact that there are those who use their “faith”- and I use that term incredibly lightly- to beat those of us over the head who have, for a myriad of reasons, had to go down another path to reach God, is the reason why I dislike many Christians. Like Gandhi said- I like your God but I don’t like your Christians. No one but God stood with me during my horrendous and humiliating abuse- and as such, I don’t have much respect for the peanut gallery- who sit on their behinds and make judgments without lifting a finger to do anything other than hinder and hurt. Running their mouths simply to discredit and demean- I have found this attitude pervasive in my quest to get my father and his family investigated.

If my training taught me anything- it is that the dark exists. I have grown tired of this obsessive compulsion by most Christians to close their minds off to anything that is dark, believing that God is just Love and Light. If that was true- then children wouldn’t be where they are today- and it is this need to deny the dark that has allowed it to become as pervasive as it is in our society. Just because one denies the truth doesn’t make that truth any different- and I find that it is either because the person wants to feel comfortable and this is out of that realm, or they think that they are so weak that they are somehow going to be overcome by the dark and what is in it and get possessed or something. It has been the most bizarre thing for me in all of this- which is why I believe that the Satanism was the forerunner for the mind control problems, as the other side knew what would happen when people began to look into it.

I am not afraid of the dark. It doesn’t make me bad- or evil- nor does it denote that I practice Satanism, but rather it says that God lead me through it all in order to teach me so I that I could know my enemy on this side, and as such- I am not intimidated nor do I have an irrational fear that God will take away my free will and I will be possessed by demons or any of the other outrageous crap that has been said to me throughout this. Raised to be a warrior- my enemy is in the dark- and it is there that I must go to face the fight and my faith is strong enough to get me through it. I don’t have time to deal with this childish fear that God will forsake me, as Heaven has never left my heart or mind in any of it- and in fact it was what got me through in the first place. One must first GO INTO THE DARK before they can SHINE A LIGHT WITHIN IT, and this whole premise that God’s work must always be in the light is to deny the real fight. People are being enslaved, tortured, and dying while we sit on our butts and pray. Prayer is nice- and it definitely helps- but if that is the only action you feel comfortable enough to muster- then all I ask is that those who are so inclined step out of the way so that others can actually DO the work that needs to be done to try and stop this.

I have allowed myself to get sidetracked trying to garner up comrades in this fight when the truth is- this fight is not one that can be fought with others. Our destinies lie before us for us alone- and each of us must travel the path alone to some extent, as we come into this world alone and we generally leave alone. I was taught what I was for a reason- and I know that it works, which is why I am hardly the only person who has experienced what I have, and as such- I realize that it is the only effective way to fight the dark. Again- you must first go into the dark before you can shine a light in it- which is what FAITH is really about- and I guess it is time that I stop allowing people who have no idea who I am to dictate to me what is acceptable and what is not in this fight. I love God and all of Heaven, and more importantly- God and all of Heaven loves me- and it is time that I stop listening to everyone else and start listening to my heart.

This fight is intense, and there are very few who are actually willing to be on the battle field with this- as most survivors struggle to leave our pasts behind us while others claim they have too much to lose to join the fight, but whatever the case- there are not a lot of us out there fighting which tells me that perhaps it is time to go within and fight that way. Able to influence energy was something that was drilled into me from birth- and as I have said before, I am not only adept at it, but it is something I have excelled at in the past. This DOES NOT make me a Satanist- but I see no reason why I shouldn’t use what I was taught, especially considering it is so effective. Besides- any fool knows that no one is able to thwart the will of God- so for those who simply wish to bask in the light shouldn’t worry about those of us who are actually willing to fight on the battlefield. The fight is ugly- and if that interferes or contradicts with some peoples delicate sensibilities, then I suggest they do what they do best- and look away. However, for those of us who are in this- as they say- all is fair in love and war, so- again- I must say for those of you who are intimately involved in this that you need to come clean pretty soon, or else you risk being claimed by the very dark you have striven to promote, as I think that humanities time is beginning to run out faster than any of us can fathom at this point and you are quickly running out of time.

So many things are being presented about me by various people that is it hard to keep up- but I wanted to deal with some of the outright lies that are being presented about me.

First, I NEVER called Critthink, Douglas, Charles Gaston, Karmakaze, Jeanette Bartha, or any of my other attackers on Amazon satanists. I also never called them pedophiles. I DID however call them Pedophile Protectors, which, in my opinion, is lower and more harmful than being a pedophile itself. Doug Mesner/Misicko was in a satanic rock bad- and just threw a satanic rally for Rick Scott down in Tallahassee Florida, so if he ISN’T a satanist, he definitely plays around with promoting it, so take it for what it is worth. He also used to the rally to discredit and harass a man that he is in a lawsuit against- so to say that Misicko takes liberties with all of this is pretty evident. However, discrediting victims of abuse and arbitrarily protecting the perpetrators is disgusting and wrong. This is what this group does- and it is sad that they are able to do it with the veracity that they do.

Secondly, I am not a satanist with a gay agenda. The very fact that this is going around is ridiculous- but then it comes from people who have not read my book. Although I am not going to back down and apologize for being gay- I am certainly no satanist, nor do I have any other agenda than getting my father and his family’s involvement in a child abduction ring investigated.

It has been brought to my attention that I CAN get back on Amazon by writing their corporate offices, but I DO NOT want to do it, as I am happy not to be fighting with bigoted idiots who fight any and all who would claim abuse issues. I have published the letter that Amazon has sent me as to why this ONE PERSON saw to ban me- and you can see for yourselves that one of the comments that I am guilty of is calling Douglas a twinky- even though he and his group are STILL calling me names and worse on Amazon even now. This campaign to silence me worked on Amazon- however- as much as Douglas huffs and puffs- the anonymous “professor” is not going to have much luck taking away my first amendment rights- in that I can relate what I want when I want as I want- and it will take a court injunction to remove my constitutional rights away from me and close down this blog.

The targeting that I have had to endure has transcended into a pervasive and concerted attack on the internet to try and say anything and everything to discredit me and keep others from listening to my concerns. I have been threatened with “self termination”, been called everything in the book- and have been followed from place to place with the same people constantly trying to influence others- such as PaskelParis- who I have been informed is connected to the False Memory Pedophile Protector Squad- as are others who wish to defame me. It has been criticized that I don’t take such attacks well, and that I can be more than acidic at times, but this is how I stand- if you are coming to slit my throat, don’t expect me to be polite about it. I am not in this to make friends- and if your feelings are such that you were them on your sleeves, then you should think twice about attacking those of us who attack back, because although I am no satanist- neither am I a saint. In this day and age- passivity is looked upon as a weakness- and if you are strong enough to attack me- then you are strong enough to deal with the fight that will ensue as a result.