In this fight to expose what has happened here in Omaha, I have now found myself pitted against people like False Memory Foundation lackey Doug Mesner/Misicko and his following of SRA deniers, and PaskellParis- who I guess is a Satanist that can’t help but make threats about me on his YouTube channel- which I believe is either an attempt to “access” me through programming terminology- or designed to intimidate other targeted individuals who would go look at his postings. I have no idea who these people are personally- however, most of my dealings with the people who would stand against me or anyone listening to what I have been saying to be unpleasant- not because they have disagreed with me but rather because they have done nothing but constantly threaten, intimidate, and attack. There is, as I have said, a concerted effort to keep my concerns from being heard, and threats have been part of the process this whole time.

I have been told to keep up the heat with the False Memory people, but the thing is, Omaha was BEFORE the false memory foundation- and had nothing to do with repressed memories, although Paul Bonnaci, as I have stated before, was the first DID (dissociative identity disorder/multiple personality disorder) case that I believe spurred the whole False Memory Foundation concept and the following “hunt” against anyone who would claim to suffer from DID- or in my case satanic ritual abuse, through the past few decades. Therefore, I think that the False Memory people are nothing but a distraction for me, who I find are just a rouge group of obnoxious individuals who argue in circles with “facts”, many of which have long since been dis-proven. My interest is not in the lackeys who fight cases without knowing any facts but rather the people on Randi.org who seem to be directing this group of dissenters. Offering advice in shadow anon accounts, it was pretty obvious to me and those who were watching that this group was pretty determined to get me off of Amazon- and did so in a directed and quick manner, although most found my posts funny rather than snide, which is why Amazon banned me. However, the False Memory crap was years after Franklin Credit Scandal, and events here in Omaha stand on their own, and are not under the influence of the FMSF or their Pedophile Protector Squad.

The Grand Jury that determined that events in Omaha were just one “carefully crafted hoax” and nothing more is well known to have been corrupt, which is how they could offer such a specific explanation without going into detail as to who was behind it or how this “hoax” was able to be played out all over the nation without social media or the internet at the time. Parents were reporting that their child were being abused within their daycares and at the time these complaints had NOTHING to do with DID or repressed memories but were, rather, detailed events of abuse that were taking place “real time”. Heavily connected to Col. Michael Aquino and his psych ops work in the government later on with the Presidio Day Care scandal in San Francisco, I think that the satanic aspect was just a way to cover the truth that what was happening was nothing but a continuation of the mind control project MKUltra and the practice by our elite of using and abusing our most vulnerable citizens. The satanic aspect, the Johnny Gosch case, as well as the False Memory Foundation- have been nothing more than smoke and mirrors to cover the up the events that have played out, not only here in Omaha, but throughout the nation as a whole. Covering up basic facts of the investigation here with goose chases for an abducted child who is supposedly alive is a kind of “Where’s Waldo” game that distracts from the facts that an inordinate amount of money was being made by our government and our elite who, after deregulating the nation’s savings and loans, began running drugs from the Contras, trafficking children and guns all over the place, all the while furthering the continuation of secret projects that were supposed to be disbanded decades ago. As they say- hind sight is better than fore sight- and now that we have the luxury of history concerning all of this- I think it is pretty easy to figure out who was behind what was really going on- simply by following the money.

It is because I refuse to go away or become silent that the “other side” has decided that threats are warranted. Are all of my dissenters connected? Of course not- but I seem to have gathered quite a few adversaries in my quest to expose the truth and so it is hard for me to look at them as anything but a whole rather than a group of individuals, as their desire is the same, and that is to keep people from hearing what I have to say. However, faith staves off paranoia, and so whatever this group might do or threaten is not really my concern- as I have given much of this up to God. Besides, what is one life to offer up to God and the Heavens? So I will continue either until the job is done, or I am. It is simply the right thing to do.

Last night on a Talkshoe internet radio program, I was instructed to go to a YouTube channel of someone who goes by the name of PaskelParis- and on it was a group of terroristic threats against me. Suggesting that I was going to be “self-terminated”, it was enough for me to make a call to the police, although I decided not to make a report as it was taken down immediately after I was notified, and I figured that it was designed to scare others and not me. I guess PaskelParis is a practicing Satanist- however, I really don’t know much about him- since I was just notified of his presence last night. However, I will say that I seem to be getting the unwanted attention of my opponents, and they seem to be working overtime to try and intimidate those who are around me.

A few months back, let me remind everyone that a man was taking pictures of my dear friend and I coming out of a gas station, which I believe was another intimidation technique to scare my friend in order to try and isolate me. It worked for a bit, as my friend was indeed unnerved, but everyone who knows me knows what I am involved with and so, although it was a shock, it didn’t come as any surprise, and we overcame it. But there is a definite group targeting me in order to try and isolate me while discrediting my information at the same time. Threats in the form of letters from my stepmother Joanne C. Shurter and her cousin/lawyer Gerald Friedricksen, have gone out to anyone and everyone who has attempted to help me in town, including two ladies who just made cupcakes for my book signing. Even a conference on human and child trafficking that I was trying to host was thwarted by whoever, who made enough threats to Unity Church that Unity- as a simple venue- took it upon themselves to cancel the event. It seems that everywhere I have turned there is a brick wall.

Even on Amazon- where I can no longer post- people like Critthink and Douglas continue to trash me knowing that I can’t respond. Considering what has been going on in the comment sections of 22 Faces and Sybil Exposed, it shows that there has been a definite and deliberate attack on any who would come forward with accusations such as mine, which is another indication that, for whatever reason, survivors are being targeted. As far as Amazon- what they considered “snide comments” was, in my estimation, simply me fighting, usually in defense- and trying to be funny in the process. However it played out- the results are the same, as this group that was trashing me before now can do it without limitations, as Amazon seems to be oblivious or without a care about the whole thing, which is fine but is just another indication of the concerted effort to quiet me in my opinion. It wasn’t Amazon that made the complaints against me but rather the group that was fighting me- and it is this group that is targeting survivors all over online, including me.

Organized in a way that has somewhat surprised me, although I shouldn’t be- events in Omaha have remained quiet because there are so many on the forefront keeping it quiet. This is not an accident, and I decided long ago that the only way to effectively fight all this is to simply expose it as it is. That is what I am doing with today’s blog entry. I just want to show some of the things that I, and those around me, have had to endure from a side that would rather I just remain silent and go away. Of course- that is not going to happen any time soon!

“And now that we are fired up, let me say something about the person who wrote down the words in Rabbit Hole… My first encounter with him was on the thread about Suraci: how I thought Suraci’s book was poorly written and that his pulling more out of Mason, her idea or not, was ethically shaky, given her past. (I would never have risked shaking up someone’s life like that, especially someone with a history of mental instability…) At any rate, upon FIRST SIGHT, the person who put his name on the cover of “Hole” called me a Satanist and a pedophile and began stating on his blog that I was a Satanist and pedophile and continues to call me a “pedophile protector.” He has never met me, admits he has no idea who I am, knows nothing of my life, and yet makes the most colossal charge that can be made against another human being, that of harming children–because…I…didn’t…like…a…book. So you tell me about this man’s credibility and whether or not we are supposed to believe what he wrote in his book. Authorities don’t believe him. The police don’t believe him. The state government doesn’t believe him. Why, says he? They are Satanists and pedophiles, you see! They seem to meet him at every turn! These three, but Byington and Shurter especially, would have done best never to have self-published these things, but if that was going to happen, they would have done better to have remained in the background and silent. Judy’s credibility, both as person and author, were destroyed on McGraw and here. And Shurter’s credibility, both as person and author, were destroyed here and on his blog–and on youtube…etc. Do NOT run around calling everyone in sight a pedophile just because he or she does not like a certain book and then ask someone to believe your book in which you run around calling everyone in sight a pedophile! All three books, Suraci’s, Byington’s and Shurter’s were bad enough (none found publishers), but their public behavior has made the incredible all the less credible. To paraphrase a bit, “better to let people believe you are a charlatan than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”

I am dealing with this rant only because I would like to make some things clear- as this paragraph sums up the arguments that I have had to deal with the False Memory Pedophile Protection Squad- and since I can no longer post on Amazon due to the efforts of this group (and my own propensity to become sharp and “snide” with opponents such as these- which is the whole reason why Amazon decided to ban me), this is as good a venue as any to deal with this. In essence- Amazon said I wasn’t being as nice I as should and banned me for being “snide”, but then being called a liar and having a group do their best to try and discredit me kinda brings that out naturally, if you know what I mean. Whatever the reason, the outcome has been wonderful- as my days have stopped being full of fighting with rude, nasty people fighting for an agenda that supports pedophiles. The stress of that continuous futile battle was enough to drive anyone over the edge, and the reason why I am not fighting Amazon is that they actually did me a favor.

I won’t get into the specifics of my battle with Douglas- except that I have found him to play with his anonymous stature on Amazon and often lies at will. What he doesn’t say in this rant is that I have thought, and still sometimes wonder, if this is not the infamous Doug Mesner who threw a satanic rally for Rick Scott down in Tallahassee Flordia, and is poster child and internet spokesperson for the False Memory Foundation. Whoever his is- Douglas has gone so far as to leave a personal attack in the form of a review on my book and obviously is trying desperately to keep anyone from listening to me by denying my credibility- although he himself is nothing more than an anon on Amazon, with little credibility himself.

Let me make it clear though- this man fights against any and all claims of abuse- although he has no idea of the personal specifics of each case, just because of his allegiance to the False Memory Foundation- and as such, he arbitrarily and systematically denies any and all abuse claims that deal with ritual abuse and satanic ritual abuse. His agenda is such that he attacks mercilessly regardless of not knowing the facts of the matter of each individual case. Mine is a perfect example. I am not saying that he is a pedophile- but that he mindlessly fights for them, which I still contend. But anyway, let me make clear some of the fallacies of his argument.

The Nebraska State Patrol believed me enough to have me sign papers and give up my DNA. The Michigan task force thought enough of my story to ask me to send a written and signed statement detailing why I believe my father and his group could have been involved in the ritualistic murders of four children in Oakland MI in the 70s. Someone believes me enough also to have sent a person to one of my booksellers house in the middle of the night to prevent them from selling my book- so to say that all kinds of people are not standing up and taking notice is not factual.

I don’t believe that there is a cover up because everyone is satanic or a pedophile- but rather- I am fighting some incredibly rich and powerful people who wish to keep their involvement in a child, gun, and drug trafficking ring quiet, not to mention that Omaha’s mayor BEGAN his office with accusations of his staff being involved in with the pedophilia that was rampant here. Officials in Omaha would rather this whole issue disappear forever, and it is THIS that I am fighting against. However- that doesn’t mean that I don’t believe Douglas and his group fights for pedophiles, so this part of what he is saying is 100% correct. His behavior has been to discredit survivors in any and all forms- and the result is the protection of those who are abusers. His rudeness has shown him to also be abusive, which is why I dismiss most of his arguments. All over the web attacking survivor’s- he has shown himself to be characteristically protective of those who have abuse claims leveled at them.

My credibility is a focal point for Douglas and his group- as they are desperate to keep anyone from reading and considering the things that I have detailed in Rabbit Hole: A Satanic Ritual Abuse Survivor’s Story. I stand by the things I have said on this blog and in my book- and my YouTube videos have helped a great deal with showing people the layout of Omaha so that they can understand what was going on here- and the kudos that I have received throughout the years lay Douglas’s claims of a destroyed credibility as nothing more than a man with an agenda full of endless opinions and nothing more.

The issues in Omaha are not really about the satanism that was being practiced, nor the pedophilia that was taking place, but rather deals with the fact that an inordinate amount of money was being made on child, gun, and drug trafficking and that those drugs were coming into Offutt Air Force Base during the Iran/Contra scandal and was being distributed by people such as Kevin Dobson and Dick Bishop- who was working with the East Omaha Hell’s Angels- who were the distribution side of the trafficking. The people involved are very specific, and it has little to nothing to do with the satanic stuff that was going on here in town. Rabbit Hole is multifaceted in that I list a myriad of concerns, none of which have anything whatsoever with repressed memories, multiple personality disorder, or any of the other things that generally involved books written by survivors, although Douglas and his group fight me anyway. However, never one to run from criticism, I wanted to deal with this rant this morning and hopefully dispel any misconceptions of to what I am doing and what it involves.

I have spoken twice to Nebraska Senator Ernie Chambers on the phone, once when I first got involved with this investigation into my family, and the second time several months later, when I was well into it. The first time we spoke- he told me to drop it or else they would say I was crazy, commit me, drug me, throw me off the roof and then call it a suicide. The second time I called, I was trying again to get someone to listen to me- and he told me that he had his “own agenda and things to do” in such a hostile manner that I simply responded when he was “done suing God” and actually wanted to “help the people”, to give me a call sometime and I hung up on him- (and I am not kidding, he actually went to court to sue God, and Nebraskan’s STILL re-elected the putz if you can believe it). I bring this up not solely to criticize Chambers but to show how there is a strong resistance to investigating my family and the things they were involved with even in the higher levels of the state government. Many have used the phrase “career killer”, and it is not easy- in fact many times it is downright impossible, to get people to overcome their fear and stand up against such an organized crime syndicate.

The False Memory advocates that I have been fighting with on Amazon constantly harp on the fact that there is no proof of what I am saying- but my contention is that there is plenty of evidence, but the fact that all I have gotten is the run around in town- it makes me wonder how many came before me and tried, only to have faced the same resistance to the truth that I have. Although Nebraska State patrolman Deputy John Pankonin went through the motions to take my DNA at the station, I am not sure anything was ever done with it, and I have come to wonder more and more if it wasn’t done in order to placate me in hopes that I would stop what I have been doing. Although the Michigan state taskforce contacted me about four murdered children in Oakland, Michigan in the 70’s, I have not gotten so much as a thanks for sending them an affidavit of my concerns along with a copy of my book. I have been asked why I don’t try to work closer with the local officials and unfortunately, it is because I have a concern that they are taking what I know to tie up loose ends rather than investigate any crimes that I have been reporting, and while I know that any legitimate investigation into this will have to come from the police department, I have no hope that they are doing anything whatsoever, except trying to assure everyone that I am crazy.

In fact- this is the primary argument against me- that I am crazy, and even though this argument, like all the others, are nothing but ad hominem attacks, esp. considering that I see professionals who can attest that the only thing “wrong” with me is PTSD, which was a direct result of the abuse that I endured as a child- I also don’t believe anyone can go through what I went through and not be scarred. However, although I have my battle wounds, it does not define who I am, nor am I crazy because I am relating what I am. More importantly- I have hardly been the only one who has brought these concerns to our local officials, only to be turned away with strong attempts to disenfranchise us afterwards. For whatever reason- our politicians, police, and local media have done their best to sit on their hands concerning what happened here in Omaha, and the frustration that I have felt over this has sometimes been intense.

Even trying to throw a conference on child trafficking was thwarted by Unity Church for whatever reason. It doesn’t surprise me, considering that the professionals who were going to speak in town would have seen that I am a normal person when they met me, and my step mother Joanne C. Shurter, and her lawyer/cousin Gerald Friedricksen could not afford to let that happen- lest I actually get some credibility in people’s eyes. Harassed by my stepmother and her lackey incessantly, they, along with local police and Judge Marlon Polk, have done their best to trash me in the eyes of the law even though the only thing I am guilty of is trying to get my family and their crimes investigated. At least I haven’t ended up dead- like everyone else who has come forward to report or look into this- such as District Attorney Gary Caradori, or better, Brad Fuguli- who was connected to people in Omaha’s CURRENT administration. Regardless as to how pathetic I find our local officials to be- the truth of all of this must come out, and so therefore, I have no intention of stopping what I have been and will continue to do for however long I choose to do it in the future, and I am not going to be daunted by personal attacks any longer.

I complain all the time that people don’t want to get involved, and what I have discovered is that maybe the same is true for me. So I am going to start attending city council meetings and such in order to bring this to light for the people. The next step must be taken- and perhaps this is the way to do it.

Ad Hominem- adjective
1. appealing to one’s prejudices, emotions, or special interests rather than to one’s intellect or reason.
2. attacking an opponent’s character rather than answering his argument.

I just want to point out that most every attack and bad review on Amazon has been this kind of attack- and very little about the book itself. Even the attacks that say that Rabbit Hole is “sub-par” writing, are more of an attack on a personal nature than saying anything about the book.

These types of attacks are prevalent with anyone on Amazon who writes a book about ritual, or satanic ritual abuse. People such as “Douglas”, “Critthink”, “Charels Gaston” and other posters on Amazon have done their best to decimate the character of the authors instead of the books themselves. Judy Byington and her book 22 Faces is another example of this.

People wonder why I feel like I am targeted, and it is because I have a concerted group effort to stop anyone from reading Rabbit Hole or looking into my issues. Threats, intimidation, internet stalking- all of these tactics have been employed against me- all the while this group practices what they call “woo woo” practice’s, which is a not so clever way of dominating and controlling any and all conversations by asking lame questions and launching personal attacks that never cease, as you will notice that in all of the negative reviews of my book- not one says anything about specific issues presented in my book but rather focus on personal attacks like I am unstable, crazy, and not to be believed. As such- I have yet to know what many of these posters failed to like about the book.

Considering this is being done, not just to me, but to anyone who would publish anything this group disapproves of, and that they are laughing about it on skeptic websites such as Randi.org, it shows that this is being done with intent, consciously, and is organized. Claiming they are trying to stop “another witch hunt” in society- this group has and will do anything it can to win its argument- even if that means publishing all kinds of personal info on people such as Felicity Lee- who would fight against them. My experience is that this group is dangerous- and will stop at nothing to trash anyone who they perceive comes up against them, and unfortunately- they are so good at what they do that Amazon seems either unwilling, or incapable, of stopping them. So I figure that the only way to stop this is to try and expose it as best as possible.

On second thought- I realize that I was just despairing this morning. Angry- hurt, and frustrated- and I don’t mean to take it out on those who are working so hard to expose this. I just wish that we lived in a more idealistic world than what we do and I wish that things could be different than they are today.

I am sorry for those that I have offended with this mornings rant- but again, I was despairing and felt I needed to get it out, although I am actually REALLY going to take a break from all of this. I have been neglecting other areas in my life, and I have to take responsibility for that. The feedback that I received with regards to my art has shown me that I need to spend more time in my studio creating beauty rather than spending it in the muck of the internet and world.

For those of you who were offended by my attack on Christianity- please understand that I love Jesus Christ- I just wish that more people would focus on his life rather than his death. It seems like the world is falling apart around us and none of us have the capability to do anything about it- and sometimes, it doesn’t feel as if prayer and faith are enough. I love God with all of my heart- but at this moment of my life- I am looking for results, and I don’t see many that aren’t government sponsored media propaganda that is far from the real truth. I have a tendency to hold God responsible for the world, as I hold myself responsible for living in it. Please try to understand that this morning- mine was a cry to Heaven- and although it was ugly, it was also real. However- my intent is not to offend- so I have removed the previous posting for the sake of myself and my sanity.

I neither meant to insult my comrades in this battle, nor diminish the work that has been done, but I disdain the fact that so many have worked so diligently with their hearts, sweat, blood, and tears- (and let me assure you anyone who fights this fight has plenty of them), and yet we are still fighting to have our experiences even considered real, let alone valid. Rather than pull my hair out, I need to back away and focus more on the joy in my life- as there is an abundance of it- and let all of this “worldly” stuff dissipate from my reality. Trust me in that this has not been an easy decision to make, and it will take a lot of will to do it- but I can’t spend what is the rest of my life in fights and battles that never seem to cease, nor do they make much sense. This morning I have had to admit that the seven years I have been doing this I have essentially have been chasing my tail- and this has made me angry as well as disheartened, which is what came out in this mornings rant. As such- I ask for forgiveness from those I have offended with my post this morning.

There is much to me than the warrior side that most see online, and I wanted to take the opportunity to present some of that side of me to those of you who may believe that I am unfocused on anything other than the fight before me. Liking to think that I am more than a one dimensional being, it is my artwork that truly shows my love for God and my fellow man.

For me, art is a spiritual channeling that is unlike any other that I have experienced. I often say that prayer doesn’t change the will of God, but rather opens up our hearts and minds to the possibilities involved with our difficulties, and the same is true about my artwork. I would like to think that my artwork is a celebration of the spirit, as I try to focus all the love of Heaven in my pieces.

Defying the odds of my background, I find peace in my studio much like I do practicing my spiritual beliefs, but then that is probably because they are one and the same, as I continuously pray over all that I do. Allowing Heaven to create beauty through me, I am honored that God has blessed me with such a gift. It is this gift that I would like to share with you now- as you might see a different side of me than what you know already.

These are a few pieces that I have created and distributed out into the world, as God loves a cheerful giver, and like information, art is no good unless it is out and being seen. Gaining all the attention I need with my art- I am not the attention seeker that the “other side” would like to present me as, considering I get more than enough from my art. I just wanted to take an opportunity to show this side of myself, so that people get a different perspective of who I really am.

It is not my desire to scare other survivors when they watch what I am doing on other websites with people that I find unfavorable, and I want to assure everyone that the conflicts that I have found myself in have generally been done purposely- as that is how I learn about my opponents. Someone very dear to me once said that I bring “the crazy out of people”, and I have to begrudgingly say he was correct. It is exasperating, and often time consuming, but in order to figure out exactly what I am dealing with, I find that it is best to catch people off guard- get them going, and see how they act in the process in order to ascertain what kind of individuals I am dealing with. In my defense- I only employ this tactic with those who I feel are playing games to prevent the real issues of not only Omaha, but satanic ritual abuse and ritual abuse issues in general from coming out into the mainstream public, and it has usually been a tactic I use only online and not in my general life. Not saying that I haven’t attracted some “interesting” people along the way- but as a rule, I don’t often find that life or people are “out to get me”, so I try my best to go with the flow- and see what I can learn along the way. However, I also adhere to the adage “just because your paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you”.

One of the hardest things for me with all of this is that I am not exactly sure who all my opponents are, and that anonymity lends a heightened sense of self-awareness and hyper-vigilance as a result. Strangers with nefarious intentions have been a commonality in dealing with all of this, and as such, it has made it hard to know just who to trust and who not too. We all have our own agendas in that we all have things we want to accomplish in life, so that makes it hard enough- but then adding to the mix a group of people whose sole purpose is to quiet, intimidate, and then discredit anyone who would come forth with SRA or ritual abuse claims, it sometimes makes it virtually impossible to move forward with anything at all. Although it has not been my intent to scare survivors by showing them the pervasiveness of the opposition, I do feel that in order to effectively be in the battle- one needs to know as much about their enemy as they can. Rest assured- if you are a survivor wanting to come out and tell your story- “they” are lurking in the shadows just waiting to ensnare us in their webs of flawed logic and overt skepticism, and the opposition attacks immediately, relentlessly, and with no remorse the minute they set sights upon their victim. So what the hell do we do?

First, there are powers in numbers, and quite frankly- there are more of us than there are of them. Neil Brick- on my last Talkshoe radio program- had the right idea when he suggested that ALL survivors get on the internet, start a blog, and start telling your stories. We need to come together cohesively and in numbers that cannot be ignored, and this is a great way to begin. There are a myriad of sights that offer free services, and even if it is just a paragraph a day- from personal experience I will assure you there is nothing more empowering that seeing your story in black in white. In doing such a thing, we validate each other in a way that will make the public take notice, and I think that is the very credibility that we need.

Next, let me assure you that the “other side” is nowhere near as powerful or as crafty as most of us had them out to be. Most of them are brash, emotionally driven, and highly competitive- generally using anything they can muster to control conversation, and many of them are not only young- but have not even come close to going through the things that we have, thus they lack both experience and the strength we were given throughout our abuse. Individually we are each stronger and more aware than the rest, but together, we would be an unstoppable powerhouse that could change the world and stop the abuse of children- and from what I can see, the opposition would be able to do nothing about it.

Lastly, I want to once again begin work on the Survivor’s Project- where I will be looking for people to make and upload short videos detailing what it is like to be a survivor of SRA and ritual abuse, and I am looking for a group of people to help me get this project off the ground. I am not looking for money- but rather time and ideas for anyone who would be interested. The UN did a similar project a couple years back that they called the Testify Project- where people sent in videos detailing human rights violations, however I would like to just focus on our plight as survivors- and maybe individually we can offer hope and inspiration to each other enough to help us all find a voice. I think that together, as a group- we could all change the world and prevent what happened to us from happening to others in the future. If anyone has that power and drive- it is us, and just like Mr. Brick said in the last phone call- I also believe that our time is now- that it is our point in history- and the world is ready and open to hear what happened to all of us finally. We only need to start talking.