We survivors are a funny lot. Due to our life experiences, we spend much of our time trying to tame our triggers that bring so much anguish to us. Even those of us who are healed enough to the point where we want to reach out to others suffer this affliction, and each of us has a process in which we are evolving to be the people that we want to be. Dealing with triggers, and trying to maintain a sense of balance is often time consuming and, at times, overwhelming to where seeing the light at the end of the tunnel is hard to fathom. Triggered into the primal urge of fight or flight, it has always been my custom to fight- which is probably what saved me as a child. However, as I have reached adulthood, I have discovered that this has been an unhealthy response in not only other survivors, but more importantly, in myself.
It is because of my past life experiences that I fear vulnerability the most, and I made the decision a long time ago that I would never again be a victim of circumstance. There is a warrior side to me that resembles a pit bull, as it is impossible to make me let go of something that I have clenched down on. This investigation that I have been involved with is an example of that. I have had it said that a real victim wouldn’t call it that, rather it is life and was simply lived, but since I was involved as a child, I have taken it upon me to understand what was happening in a way that I was unable to do when I was younger. As a result, I have a different perception of things that makes many uncomfortable- and some downright aggressive, however- rarely is the truth pleasant, and I have always been one that believes when niceties get you nowhere, that confrontation is often the element that cuts away the bull to get to the core of the problem. That is what I am attempting to do with all the work that I have been involved in.
However, there is an aspect of my life where I owe a great apology for my behavior. Many survivors have been involved with something that caused them to walk away feeling disenfranchised, and I want to express my sincere condolences that I didn’t listen, nor do more, to prevent all of you from walking away frustrated and hurt. Many of you felt betrayed by the position I took, and even though I was defending someone I believed in, it was in doing so that I feel like I didn’t hear what you were saying, and for that I am truly sorry. Especially considering how valid your points were at the time, it is that I just didn’t want to believe what you were saying, even though you all were speaking your truth, and I am sorry for that.
There are exciting new prospects on the horizon, and more details will be forthcoming. However, I can say that it is building up to be an exciting summer, and my hope is that all of us will get a chance to come together and have our individual voices heard in the upcoming months in such a way that the public begins to realize the validity of what so many people have been saying all along. Connecting with a valuable member of the TI community (targeted individual), I have discovered an entire new dimension that goes right along with what I and other survivors have endured, and so stay tuned for some incredible news that is going to change the way we all will be able to communicate!
Thankful how incredibly blessed we all are,
David Shurter