I was totally blessed to speak to my therapist today and I was “reminded” of things that I have forgotten concerning abuse and how it affects the person who have been abused.

Survivors of abuse almost always have a hard time achieving a sense of identity. We are so controlled that we never get a chance to figure out who we are as a person, and this is for ALL abuse survivors and not just ones who have are victims of mind control or satanic ritual abuse.

Often, an abused child can walk into the room and gage what everyone in the room is feeling- everyone but themselves of course. This isn’t magic- but rather a defensive strategy designed to protect them. It is just part of the human condition. Most abuse survivors will do anything to prevent themselves from being hurt again, and this is part of that condition.

But in this process, totally focused on others- we never get a chance to know how WE are feeling or even who we are.

Constantly knocking a person down is part of trying to control them- and most abuse survivors are generally totally controlled by their abusers.

The most powerful aspect of the survivor community is this ability to identify with a group- thus finding a sense of self identity for ourselves. Identifying with a group helps give us a sense of identity- helping us to understand who we are.

When this happens, oftentimes survivors will be so desperate to fit in that they will do anything in order to keep connected with the group. This is the reason why members of these groups will quietly allow things to happen that they know to be wrong- so they can feel like they fit in and not be rejected,

Joining these groups with such a desperate need to fit in makes a person susceptible to what is called “group think”. Group think happens all the time when groups form and are isolated from all other thoughts and ideas- and is the reason why such groups have a tendency to make really bad decisions. Our government is an example of this.

The justification of going to war with Iraq was an example of group think- barring of course that this was done intentionally and with a purpose. Our leaders were SO convinced that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction that they didn’t allow any other arguments to get in their way- and now we have found ourselves in this long and unwinnable war- based on nothing but bad information.

These groups often use shunning to control their members- something that survivors of abuse are deathly afraid of. Scared that they will be ostracized from the group-thus losing the only identity of self that they have- people will go along with things that they might know are wrong- remaining silent so that they are able to remain part of the group.

This explains the behavior of those who are concerned that something nefarious happened regarding the death of Lori King but have remained silent. Speaking out would get them kicked out of the group- and survivors, who have been isolated and alone for the majority of our lives, are desperate to prevent this from happening.

But you don’t have to be a survivor to be subject to this fear- as it is part of the human condition. Going along with things you know to be wrong so that you won’t be ostracized or attacked is a normal part of life. And standing alone is difficult- esp. when a person is so afraid of being isolated.

Neil Brick- suggesting that I am being “cult controlled” is another example of this shunning program. It was said in hopes of preventing anyone from listening to my criticism of him- and getting them to mistrust me.

He is a licensed therapist- so he- more than anyone- understands how shunning works to shut a person down. Telling survivors that I am “cult controlled” is his attempt to prevent anyone from trusting me and more than that- listening to me. His attacks- claiming I am evil or being controlled by evil people- while presenting himself as the hero- the one who people can trust and support, is all part of this shunning campaign.

What he is doing is not so different from Doug Mesner/ Doug Misicko/ Satanic founder of the Satanic Temple Lucien Greaves- who is trying to claim that the episode where I attacked my nephew when I was 13 was done as an adult. In fact- he presents it as if it just happened- although it was 37 years ago- as a result of me being forced to light someone on fire. This is being done by Doug/Lucien for the same reasons that Neil Brick is making the claims he is- to prevent people from listening to anything I have to say. Doug also has photo-shopped a picture of me with tin foil on my head, which he is posting all over the internet.

This too is part of his campaign to get people to shun me.

Neil Brick and Satanist Doug are hoping that everyone focuses on who they want to present me to be- in order to distract from what I have been saying. All of this is being done in hopes that people will shun me, thus ignoring me.

The issue that these two have is that the shunning program doesn’t work so well with me- as I have been standing alone most of my life and don’t have a need to fit in with the masses.

I self-identified with being gay LONG before I ever even considered myself a survivor- and doing so in a small northwestern Iowa town of 800 made me incredibly strong- as, you can imagine- identifying as gay was not accepted nor welcomed by anyone in the town. The result is that I gained an incredible amount of strength in doing so- and it has allowed me to stand alone and not really have any issue with it.

However- others are not so fortunate- and so this threat to eradicate anyone who would offer a dissenting opinion from their groups has been an incredible mind control attribute. (And using threats like these to control others behavior IS a form of mind control).

Neil demanded at his last Survivorship conference that people sit on their hands- but how can this be construed as anything other than punishment? And the sad thing is- some people probably did it in order not to face the harsh consequences of being thrown out into the street.

Neil used shame to control a group of conference goers- and then shunned those who refused to go with it- as is shown with Laura W. getting tossed from both the conference and the hotel.

I have recently found myself angry with the survivor community- never once considering that they are being mind-controlled. No one wants to sit on their hands- as this is often a punishment we faced as children, (I was once forced to sit on my hands for a week by my father and step mother), and yet, when this was demanded- they just followed with what they were being told to do.

And when someone refused- which would be the NORMAL reaction- the same group sat quietly and allowed that person to be extricated and shunned for not following Neil’s rules.

Extreme abuse, like that which many survivors endured in their childhoods, causes Stockholm Syndrome- which enables them to be controlled easily by those such as Neil. They will even DEFEND his actions and blame those who have no desire to suffer such punishment.

Although this, in my opinion, is wrong- it is also understandable. Fear is a valuable tool for control- and is hard for those who are frightened to fight against. That is why they will identify and protect those who inflict such abuse- because we have been trained to do JUST THAT with those who would abuse us.

And really- when you consider the survivors who were either at Amber’s house when Lori King was murdered- or those who were being forced to sit on their hands at the Survivorship conference- judging by the fact that no one stood and pointed out that what was happening was wrong- it is pretty obvious to me that none of them feel safe in their perspective groups.

People just allowed this despicable behavior- and so why would any of them believe that they would be supported if they spoke out? What would prevent the same thing happening to them- and who would protect them when they got attacked? No one helped Lori or Laura, so it goes to figure that they all believed that no one would protect them.

And so the abuse ensued and people came away with the desire to ignore it and distance themselves mentally away from it in order to not get caught up in the chaos themselves. As a result- they got to remain members of these groups.

But my question is- at what cost? And it is no wonder that they are scared- considering what happened to others who defied the group. One person is dead- the other got thrown out on the street- and the only thing that got generated was a great deal of fear in those who remained. And through that fear- the abuse survivors allowed themselves to be further controlled.

I have come to realize that this is not something that should produce anger but rather pity. Because, in the minds of these survivors- the only question that is on the back burner of their minds, in my opinion, is- “when will it be my turn?”

Mind control is insidious, and these situations show how mind-controlled survivors are. As infuriating as I find this, I have realized that more than that- it is truly pathetic and incredibly sad.

And I don’t see where either of these situations promoted trust, compassion, and safety. In fact- they did just the opposite- and considering that these groups will continue to fight for their perpetrators- it is telling how controlled they are.

It is just sad. More than that- it promotes a sense of hopelessness- thus allowing the abuse to continue unabated.

If THIS doesn’t scare you, then I would suggest that you all are afraid of the wrong things. More than that- you are completely under mind-control. And THAT is the scariest part of all of this.