The women’s community I live in held a Hallowmas celebration, and after much belly churning, I went. At the appropriate time in the ceremony, several women read items about the holiday that they’d either written or gotten off the internet… this is what I wrote and read to the group of 12 women:

Tonight I am here to participate in this remembrance for possibly a different reason from any of you. As a child, this holiday in my family, was part of a series of Satanic holy-days in this part of the season that go from October 23 to November 11. It wasn’t a fun time by any means. Many people were hurt during rituals carried out on this night. I watched as children were sacrificed and horrible atrocities were inflicted on children and adults. There was not limit to the base behavior and heinous crimes against humanity the cult would do.

Tonight I stand here to remember the cries, pain and fear from those victims. I stand here to remember those that are still captives and victims in the cults which nearly robbed me of my soul –AND my life. Tonight I honor the memories of those who died. Tonight I stand here to take back another piece of my life, and to remember that I am Not There Now!

Tonight I give thanks for all the encouragement and support I got from some extremely talented therapists; I give thanks to the women and men who held me in healing space as I struggled to regain my Self. Tonight I thank you for listening, and for holding this ceremony, so that I can find a way to heal even further. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!