Wow- have you ever had the cold hard slap of reality wake you from a dissociative fugue in such a way that you question what you have been doing in the world? This past weekend was this way for me- and I am still dealing with the repercussions of my realizations.

I don’t have much at all in common with the survivor community is what I discovered. Having given as much as I have- and fought as hard as I have- all for a community I don’t much identify with was a harsh reality to come to terms with- and I am still reeling from all of it.

I dealt with several professionals this past weekend- and did realize that I could be of assistance to them though. Being reminded of how hard it is to find survivors who can articulate and understand what was done to them is almost impossible- as most remember it as a discourse of fragmented memories. I also have an older sister who can back up what I have said- while giving her own articulate explanation of what happened to us. We can also discuss it without being triggered like most survivors. The emotional intelligence we have garnered is very helpful with all of this.

I was also told by someone way up on the chain that my book had been brought up in the past couple seminars he has attended- so my work proceeded my introduction- which was nice. The fact that people are starting to listen and respond is a good thing, and it will be those advocates that bring this all out to light- and not by survivor’s themselves I think.

Anyway- I wanted to post something to my blog so that it doesn’t get so old. I am getting ready to write a manifesto of sorts- in order to explain in what setting what all of this seems to be about for me- so that is something to look forward to if any of you are interested. It is time that I just write a concise article explaining this as best that I can.