Due to my background, being raised both in the MKUltra project, or an off shoot thereof, and in a satanic cult, I admit that my belief system is a bit complex so I ask that you bear with me. It has been said that I have a strong “new age” philosophy that is unhealthy, but shamanism was the first spiritual practice of mankind and precedes every religion, and so it is anything but new. The quantum physics concepts I was taught as a child explained the mechanics of how the energy that flows around us and through us and how it could be consciously manipulated, but it was my spiritual practice of Shamanism that enabled me to connect with God and the energy of Heaven- the source that gives life to everything, which basically changed my life.
All life derives from the same energy source, and all life exists as a conduit for that energy source. Life flows through us and out of us, influencing the vibrations of energy around us and manifesting our lives accordingly. Another way of saying it is that we are God experiencing God. Everything we do, everything we say, and everything we think casts our energy out into the Universe. Most of our lives are lived in ignorance, and psychologically and psychically focusing on energy is a way to improve the consciousness perspective in a manner that is able to influence the life force that surrounds us all.
Satanists will claim that we ARE gods, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Without the energy that flows from the Source, we are nothing. We cease to exist. However, we have the manifestational powers of Heaven flowing through us, which makes each one of us powerful. Made in God’s image was not a literal physical body but rather about the spirit of possibilities that flows through all of us, surrounds all of us, and grounds all of us. This exchange of God’s light to man is Heaven’s gift, and though each of us experiences it differently as individuals, it is this energy that is creating the lives we are living.
From since I can remember, I have always had the ability to go inside, through and out, onto different plains of existence, where I could get information and guidance. Trained as I was, I would have visions- some still shots and others movies, that flashed in my head with a velocity that sometimes made it hard to decipher. However, this provided me to ability to think in concepts, which I could visualize in my mind. What was said, what I experienced, and the information I could obtain through my practice was grilled from me each time. Severe punishment, torture if you will, would ensue for nonsense. Instruction on how to be adept was constantly provided, in every fashion. Good guys, bad guys, as a child I really couldn’t tell the difference.
Raised to believe I was the Anti-Christ, with no desire to be such, I went on a quest early on to try and thwart my fate. I studied every religion I could, looking for some way I could breach the contract. I prayed constantly, begging God to help me. I read the Bible three times from cover to cover, and countless times just opening up to a page, seeking out a way to change my fate. Funny enough, nothing was written about it, and I came up empty in all my searches.
Needless to say, I had an unusual relationship with God. Able to sense the world around me, and the energy that vibrates around us all, I found it impossible to deny God’s existence, and yet I was often angry that I had been chosen. I have had it argued that I am obsessed with being “the one” but the fact is, I always believed that I was, just not in the way that I desired. Believing that I was the harbinger of death, destruction, and persecution did not sit well with me, and I tried over and over to self-destruct- generally by my own hand.
At the age of 27, I finally admitted to a friend my fears. Looking at me, smiling, I will never forget her words.
“You? You are the Anti-Christ? What are you going to do- criticize their clothing choices? When they cry, you are going to feel bad, so you won’t make much of an Anti-Christ. “
It was in that moment that I realized that I had a choice, God’s gift to me, and that regardless of what the future held, I was capable of making the right decisions. So I began to relax a bit and working through my fears and convictions that I was inherently evil, I started to practice what I was taught to test how far I could go with it.
Most of the arguments I have heard recently only echoed my own in the beginning, as I was not convinced that what I was doing wasn’t some sort of abomination unto God. Growing up in what I did, sorcery and devil worship was common place, and I spent countless hours of my life agonizing over the evil I experienced as a child in an attempt not to repeat it. To me, my abilities seemed natural and normal, so soul searching became the norm as I never wanted to get carried away as I saw everyone else in my childhood doing. Demanding self-awareness, I began to train myself to focus on conscious intent with all of my actions.
What we think we will say, even if it is only to ourselves. What we say dictates what we will do. Our actions create energy that flows out and over us, gaining momentum as it comes back behind us, flowing back into us. Every process has its own vibrations which reverberate out into the Universe, so what you think manifests differently than what you say and do. However, all of it has an effect. That is why it is so important to consciously keep yourself in check.
Reading the Bible, raised like I was, was difficult to say the least. Understanding the counter arguments prevented true reflection on the dogma it presented, and yet the story of Jesus Christ captivated me. Love God, love your neighbor, and love yourself were instructions to connect with the highest of vibrations, and I realized that, regardless what he was believed to be or not, what Jesus SAID was spot on. Despite the argument whether he was the Son of God or not in no way diminishes the fact that what he said was RIGHT, and that his teachings are instrumental in living a worthwhile life.
Heaven is all about Love, Grace, Compassion, and Redemption as should be our lives. I have taken some slack about detailing my experiences with psycho-pumping those who had fallen first from the grace of God, (Psycho-pumping being a shamanic term that involves helping those who haven’t or can’t cross over in death back into the hands of Heaven), and I have been completely unrepentant. Love can’t be imitated, and the amazing exchange between God and his fallen flock was always breathtaking, so no one can convince me that I am some sort of heretic. God’s love for every being is limitless, and knows absolutely no boundaries, so it isn’t surprising to me that he embraced the very ones who tested mankind. The will of Heaven cannot be thwarted, thus they were doing God’s bidding this whole time. Like it is said, God works in mysterious ways.
The quantum physics concepts that I was introduced to as a child, along with the worship of demons, made, for me, God’s existence undeniable. Learning the importance of the spiritual world around us was a way to use the concepts that I was introduced too, but it was the energy of Heaven that allowed me to excel as I have. What I learned from my MKUltra training are parlor tricks compared to what I have been able to develop, but still, contrary to what I was told as a child, it hasn’t made me a God but rather a servant.
I am not sure that any of this has made sense to anyone but me, but I felt I needed to try and give some grounding information as to where I stand in life. I guess I should conclude this with a “to be continued”.