Psychic ability was a huge part of my MKUltra training and it has been my experience that this is the least spoken part of the abuse that I and others suffered. It was actually this side of my training that drove me into therapy 14 years ago and I believe that embracing this has been the most important part of my healing as an adult. Spending years trying to deny my abilities and obsessed with the fear that was associated with my training, it prevented me from actually using what I was taught. Practicing what I learned through my training as a child has made me in the formidable adult I have now become.

I am not going to debate the validity of what I was taught as the only person who has to accept it and come to terms with it is myself and I have no interest in arguing with people who aren’t aware of our human capacity to identify and influence the energy that surrounds us all. However, I often have remarked that the reason why this training took place and has lasted for generations is because the powers behind MKUltra realize that what they have been doing works. This should be obvious when considering the amount of time and money that has been generated for this training. MKUltra’s primary goal, contrary to popular belief, was not to make sex slaves and assassins but to make a psychic army of warriors that could influence and control the world around them. I was taught to innately sense energy and thought in such a way that I could control those around me, while my “handlers”, (instructors and abusers), tried to control me.

Early on in my training, it began with eavesdropping on a conversation from across the room, then graduated from there. Next I was taught to read lips- so that I could ascertain what was being said without words being spoken. After that, I was expected to figure out what the people were saying without the use of language and words, simply by focusing on them and trying to figure out what they were thinking. Finally, I was put in a room where I had to focus on others in a separate room with no interaction. The movie Suspect Zero, starring Ben Kingsly, was spot on in some respects- as the abilities afforded to the character was much like what was done to me and many others.

When I went into therapy with the therapist I had for 14 years, I decided to come clean and talk about my abilities straight out. Spending the first five sessions explaining my inability to keep from looking into people’s heads to see what they were hiding, I spoke about the training I experienced and the fact that something was opened up inside of me that I could neither stop nor control. For years I had isolated myself in hopes of preventing the intrusive thoughts that kept inundating me out in public, which had only gotten more intense as I grew older. Often scaring people with my intimate knowledge of things I couldn’t possibly know, I found myself terrified of myself and what was happening to me. Taught to use it as a form of manipulation, I felt that I was somehow flawed and, more than that, dangerous- having some sense of what I was capable of and feeling that it was fundamentally wrong. Eventually I stopped fearing those who had abused me and replaced it with a consuming fear of myself, and it was this that was primarily used against me, except that I was doing it to myself.

Remote viewing, as it is called, was expected of me as a child. Simply put, this is intuitively seeing events and people without being physically present. Taught there were no absolutes, I was trained to see time as a constant continuum that I could travel back and forth in solely in my mind, and that I could sense and manipulate events at will. Some may see this as magic, but the more mankind learns about quantum physics, the more we are beginning to realize the effects that energy fields have around us, and this training was almost solely focused on this. Only able to influence energy, I learned that I couldn’t fully control the results, and that is the flaw in MKUltra’s training. First, my instructors were unable to do what they taught me to do, and secondly they couldn’t control me or my mind- so I eventually came to the conclusion- through a great deal of therapy- that I had much more power than I was ever taught to believe over myself.

Finally suggesting that I needed to learn to control it rather than shut it off, my therapist suggested that I read Michael Harner’s book “Way of the Shaman”. This was a total game changer for me, as I discovered the tools to shield myself and learn how to direct my abilities in a way that was not associated with the trauma and the fear of how it was done to me. Taught that what I was doing was Satanic in nature as a child, I spent much of my young adulthood scared of myself- whereas Shamanism taught me that my abilities had nothing to do with the devil but rather was gift that God gave all mankind. This is probably why I eventually identified with Star Wars and the use of “the force” so strongly. Directing my abilities through my actions, I was able to make a choice when and how I used what I was taught, and learned that my abilities could be used for good as much as they could be used for evil.

I can’t fully explain what they did or how it worked but rather I can only assure you that it DID work. Simply intensifying what was already ornately present, I now- as an adult- have much more influence and control over myself and am not worried that I am evil or wrong. Experiencing what I now call “God’s training camp”, I have been able to use my abilities to help people rather than inflict the destruction that was expected of me- and because I went through the training that I did- I am much more strong and competent than I ever would have been without it. Opening both my mind and spirit to the forces of energy around me- I am able to identify the dark much more precisely, having experienced it much more personally than most, and thus have found that I am able to be a warrior for the light. Each of us that have gone through this training have our own abilities, and we differ from each other as individuals, but the undeniable fact is that we are much stronger than we give ourselves credit for- and this fear that has been encouraged is as baseless as the control our handlers believe they have over us.

The time has come for us to let go of the fear that was instilled within us and start using the abilities we learned through our training. How it was done was terrifying and brutal, but then is not now- and many of us are now adults and will never again suffer that which we did when we were children. WHAT was done to us and the fact that what we were taught works is key now- and each of us must embrace the gifts our training afforded us in order to begin influencing and changing the world around us. To become light bearers has ALWAYS been our choice, and though what we can do was forged in darkness, each of us has the ability to turn that around and become the beings we were destined to become. We as adults now have the choice and we have the power to realize our dreams of a better world, so forget the past and embrace the future as the warriors we were designed to be and start using those gifts that we were taught so many years ago. It will be this that will begin to change the world for the better, and in doing so, we will herald in the world we have always wanted.