It has become my impression that those who are in the SRA communities and the Targeted Individual community- who my sis calls the Totally Insane community- are composed of a group of people who seem to want to wear their victimization as some sort of badge of honor- and I have grown weary of this practice. I am not defined by my abuse in my past- and after what I have just experienced with an ex roommate- I highly doubt that all of these nobodies are being inundated with abuse from our government. These communities seem to be very broken- and I can’t live my life at the mercy of these groups.

What is common- which is what Renata Murray and “Bad Baby” have shown me- (two talkshoe hosts on the internet)- is that there are a lot of people who will go on and on about God and Christianity- but even though they can talk the talk- they can’t walk the walk. They are the first to turn on you at the first disagreement- and this is what I have found with most “christian’s” out there- that they are able to judge because they see themselves on the side of God. They are really no different than the Satanists who go on and on about the virtues of mankind in contrast to God- they are the first to attack and the first to claim victim when things don’t go their way.

My life, now that I have separated myself away from constant daily derision, has grown to be more full and more enlightened, and I have realized that I need to start living my life for myself and not for the benefit of others. No longer am I going to stand on the field taking hits for those who are not interested in coming out of the peanut galleries. The world is the way it is because most people don’t want to get involved in any way that doesn’t directly benefit them- and I just think there is more to life than this BS. Or, like the uneducated waitress who attacked my decision to be baptized showed me- most just think they should be able to serve their hateoraid to whomever they please and that people should stand abashed with their ugly derision. Lots of people suck- that is the truth- and many aren’t worth the air they breathe- however far they set themselves above the rest.

My life is going to become much more simple. I will reach out to the people I think I can help- and leave the rest for someone else. I will keep people in my prayers- but having them directly involved in my life is a no go. All in all- I have decided to come like the rest of the masses.

I once equated my situation with a person who escapes a warehouse of torture and pain. Once out on the road- do you decide to keep going or do you decide to go back in and try to help others- thinking that if you got out- perhaps you can help others do the same. For years I figured the latter was correct, but now I have decided that perhaps just heading out myself might be a better decision. You can’t save a drowning person, and many who find themselves in these waters only seek to garner attention from their victimization. Life is simply too short. I would rather be happy than some sort of hero- as no one appreciates those types of people anyway. Best to live my life for myself and let the cards fall as they may for others. We are all responsible for what we do- and no amount of perceived victimization will change that.

And that is all I wanted to say today.