For years I have done what I could to help both communities. I have endured death threats, ridicule, stalking, attacks, and in the end- I sacrificed my 20 year relationship over situations I felt I had a need by God to protect. My friends, my family- and those who actually know me have all asked why I would make such choices and I guess I was being directed by ego- saying that it was my lot to try and defend this group of people.

However, lately I have had it pointed out to me that I have done all that I could for years now- sacrificing most of what I held most dear, and yet this whole GoFundMe campaign has shown people exactly where I really stand in the community. It isn’t just that no one has really helped (although there have been a few and they are greatly appreciated), but I have gotten somewhat rude comments as a result, demeaning me for asking in my hour of need. I have sacrificed so much for two groups of people who can not nor do not feel the same towards me. I realize that my sacrifices have been meaningless, and that perhaps it was simply ego that forced me to feel the need to fight for such a group of people.

As such- I am backing away from both groups. Will Satanic ritual abuse and it’s connections with human trafficking and MKUltra ever be revealed? Only if it is for five minutes and doesn’t upset the regularly scheduled programing on tv. Quite frankly- I have been fighting to expose things that most people don’t give two cents about. We have designed a world where everyone wants saved but no one wants to help anyone else. When you ask for help- people get ignored- or worse- criticized for their efforts. I’m not trying to whine- but simply pointing out the facts of the matter. The truth is that mankind could not care less for the rest of mankind- and I am no longer going against the tide to fight a battle that can neither be won- nor does anyone care about in the first place.

It is true- being cold, hard, and unyielding is mankind’s true nature- and Social Darwinism it truer today than when it first began. People don’t care about the world around them unless it directly affects them- and then it only matters as so much as their needs get met. This is harsh- but true. The world is the way it is because we are the way we are- flat out. It isn’t magic- it isn’t designed by God- we live in a cold harsh world because, quite frankly- very few of us care enough to make it out any other way.

I have to say thanks for the emails that I have recieved on my GoFundMe account- you helped me open my eyes when so many others tried and failed. Now I understand- and for those I have abandoned on my crusade to do good- I owe you a deep apology and must admit that you were all right- it wasn’t worth it and it didn’t do any good. I know that now, and more than that- I understand now. I am sorry I didn’t listen for all these years.