On second thought- I realize that I was just despairing this morning. Angry- hurt, and frustrated- and I don’t mean to take it out on those who are working so hard to expose this. I just wish that we lived in a more idealistic world than what we do and I wish that things could be different than they are today.

I am sorry for those that I have offended with this mornings rant- but again, I was despairing and felt I needed to get it out, although I am actually REALLY going to take a break from all of this. I have been neglecting other areas in my life, and I have to take responsibility for that. The feedback that I received with regards to my art has shown me that I need to spend more time in my studio creating beauty rather than spending it in the muck of the internet and world.

For those of you who were offended by my attack on Christianity- please understand that I love Jesus Christ- I just wish that more people would focus on his life rather than his death. It seems like the world is falling apart around us and none of us have the capability to do anything about it- and sometimes, it doesn’t feel as if prayer and faith are enough. I love God with all of my heart- but at this moment of my life- I am looking for results, and I don’t see many that aren’t government sponsored media propaganda that is far from the real truth. I have a tendency to hold God responsible for the world, as I hold myself responsible for living in it. Please try to understand that this morning- mine was a cry to Heaven- and although it was ugly, it was also real. However- my intent is not to offend- so I have removed the previous posting for the sake of myself and my sanity.

I neither meant to insult my comrades in this battle, nor diminish the work that has been done, but I disdain the fact that so many have worked so diligently with their hearts, sweat, blood, and tears- (and let me assure you anyone who fights this fight has plenty of them), and yet we are still fighting to have our experiences even considered real, let alone valid. Rather than pull my hair out, I need to back away and focus more on the joy in my life- as there is an abundance of it- and let all of this “worldly” stuff dissipate from my reality. Trust me in that this has not been an easy decision to make, and it will take a lot of will to do it- but I can’t spend what is the rest of my life in fights and battles that never seem to cease, nor do they make much sense. This morning I have had to admit that the seven years I have been doing this I have essentially have been chasing my tail- and this has made me angry as well as disheartened, which is what came out in this mornings rant. As such- I ask for forgiveness from those I have offended with my post this morning.